CMI - Sinner's Blog

12 December, 2007 - Busy time of the year

My apologies for not writing recently. Not only is it a busy time of year with the holidays and all, but add to that some additional medical issues, going back to work, blah, blah!!

I simply wished to say MERRY CHRISTMAS to to you all. Thank you for listening to Christian Mix Inet and supporting us with your prayers. I encourage you to study the Word and share the love of the season with everyone you meet. Sometimes just a "Hi" or a smile can make someone's day. With the stress of the season, your smile may be the only one they see.

Thank you God for giving us your son Jesus, so that we may see you someday!

22 November, 2007 - Thanks-giving as far as I'm concerned...

Note; The following is a letter to a father in Iraq. It is from his 23 year-old son who misses his dad terribly. Yet displays such strength and faith in Jesus for his comfort.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his for his friends"-John 15:13

I drove right past it this morning... Didn't even think twice about it at the time. You can't really. Not here. Not in Virginia, You'd never get anything done if you spent all your time thinking about what's happened around you. Now sitting in my nice warm house, all alone... I contemplate what this place was like back then. Life has its ironies. Death has more though I think. You ever stop and think about what it is you would die for?

Considering that none of us are granted more than one life here on Earth... this becomes one of the biggest things that defines what we hold to in our lives- is what we would make our deaths to be.

You see, I was driving back from Richmond after dropping off my Mom and Brother at the airport there and went right past a place called 7 Pines. Just up the road is a patch of farms called "Cold Harbor" A few miles to the south is Petersburg. They're places now. They were once ideas. Ideas about love. Idea maybe in the sense that it was a place where Men PROVED what they loved.

They all had there own reasons for joining the Army. And more than a few of them weren't the most noble kind of men. But on a hot summer day in 1864, 7,000 men showed their love for their country at Cold Harbor, by following an idiot's orders to charge head-on into certain death, and they didn't think twice about it. The assault failed outright, proved nothing except that a lot of people could get killed really quick for what they believed in.

I've got this image in my mind of what I would maybe be thinking if I was one of them... not that I'll ever know, I wasn't there... but still just the idea of seeing your officer, a man who sworn to lead you into battle... You hear the orders to advance, and you start walking. And before you even see the enemy, your enemy has seen you. 'Because he's smart. He's defending what he knows to be the most obvious path to his lines. And for some reason that I'll never figure out, my commander has NEVER done anything except the most obvious course of action.

So their cannon has opened up now, the solid shot comes in at as close to a flanking angle as is possible- the hope is that each and every shot will bounce a few times, and hit different groups of people as it goes. But at least the noise of that is enough to dull out the constant thudding of rifle shots hitting your comrades. Rifles accurate out to a half mile are being shot at you. You haven't a hope really. The fellow looking down his sight at you... he's maybe your age.

You grew up in a city. You worked factory jobs... you know how to forge iron. But this guy shooting at you- he doesn't live too far from here. Shooting has been a part of him since he was little. There is nothing he doesn't know about how put a .53 caliber lead slug into a target marching head on at him. Now it's getting nasty. People stop talking, your sergeants don't bother to give out orders anymore, ' the men they're talking to aren't living long to hear the end of the sentence-assuming the sentence can be finished.

Why you're still alive- you don't know... no one else in your company is with you. You have been taking this for what seems like forever, but it's hardly been 10 minutes. The artillery is shooting canister now. Kind of turns the cannon into a 1 gauge shotgun, overflowing with buckshot. You can't move any more. Not forwards, not backwards. Nowhere. Anyone who tries to run at all gets cut down as simply as if some invisible blades is constantly sighing over the ranks. Or what ranks? There was a division of us when this started right? 10,000 men maybe. Now it seems like no one is left... just a flag, nearly shot in half still blowing in the breeze and constant slow motion of hundreds of men, fighting for their lives to leave this awful piece of earth, to crawl, limp, find some relief from the inevitable death killing them left and right.

And then it hits you... and the world goes quiet. You stare up into the sky... but you're not sure what You are really seeing anymore... the lights are going out. I'd think to myself... "I've done all I can.... what was expected... what was ordered of me.... what "Duty" whatever that means... told me I should do. But I'll die right here in someone's field just the same.

I was shot down by someone who used to salute the same flag I did when I was a boy. And we might've even become the best of friends if this crazy war hadn't started? What difference is there between me and him? We both believe what we're doing is right, that
God would have us to defend Freedom- for him it's his home, his town, his friends, his world- for me it's the lives of those who've never been treated right one day their whole lives, but I can't make myself believe that he's a mean person...in fact I'm sure we both believe as sure as anything we're doing God's Will.

Could we both be so wrong? Or both be so right? The pain racked throughout me is unspeakable... my tears unending (oh how I'll miss seeing my pretty wife and seeing my kids grow up)... my last words, they're heard only by God...

But as my shattered heart stops beating... it all ends for me...all the pain I've ever had... it's gone, I've fallen asleep into the best dream I'll ever have- ' it doesn't end. I feel his nail-scarred hands holding me. You see, I gave my life for my "country"... but HE gave his life for ME. It probably seems like yesterday to him too. He volunteered for his assignment, and his Father knew, as certain as my C.O. did, that this would be a suicide mission.

My death was on the verge of being nearly meaningless....but his was quite the opposite. On a hill called Golgotha, Jesus proved what he'd spoken of for years. He'd lived his entire live saying "I love you" to everyone he met... now he had to let his life be ended to put an exclamation point on the sentence. And it was painful for him too. Jesus was there, hanging by all his weight on 3 nails, shoved through him and into a wooden cross- and he'd have been able to tell you if you ask him someday which trees that cross was made from, where the metal was forged from... ' he made it all, spoke it into existence. And the people that he created were using his own creation to cause him pain- but don't think we don't still do that today. SO as he died... the men that put him there... the soldiers who nailed him to that cross... and the crowd of people around jeering at the supposed "King of the Jews" ... they cast lots over his clothes, and he loved them too.

They weren't his enemy. Sin was. He knew those soldiers were simply doing as they were ordered and they were if only for the emptiness that life without God will bring to someone. He prayed for them... "Father Forgive them, For they know not what they do". Jesus saw two men get killed beside him. One mocked at him for his supposed stupidity, for not saving himself... "You claim to be God? Why don't you take yourself off that cross then?... " but the other man... he just asks... ."Lord, remember me... when you enter into your Kingdom..." and Jesus said to him.... "This very day you will be WITH me in paradise"... ..and not too much later... that battle was over. Finished forever. Jesus had paid the full price for everything wrong I have, am, or will do wrong... so long as I trust only in him for that.

If nothing unexpected happens, then on Monday I'll go back up to Richmond to pick up my mom and brother from the airport. And as I go up there, I'll still be thankful I hope... for people that would love me so much they gave their last breath for me... and forever more so... for Jesus, and the Salvation in him he gave me on that battlefield outside Jerusalem so many years ago. At the moment, this just seems to me like the clearest definition of what I could be most thankful for. Thank You Jesus.

Dad, I love you so much, I pray you will stay safe over there, and Thank You for your service to me and my country and most of all for showing me the love of Christ when I was young.

-Ben Hughes

15 November, 2007 - Subject to availability

"Forever O LORD, Your word is settled in heaven. Your faithfulness endures to all generations. You established the earth and it abides." - Ps. 119:89,90

Have you ever noticed the signs or statements that read "subject to change without notice" or "subject to availability" You see these for schedules, statements, prizes, services, and products. The words in the verse above speak of the truthfulness, trustfulness, and stability of God's Word. His Word is settled, sure, secure, unchanging and it bides and endures forever.

An ad may that prices may change due to availability, or brands may differ, but you can count on the truth of the Lord's Word to remain true today, tomorrow, and forever. The Bible is solid, and the same trustworthy Word that you plan your life around and know it will work.

A poster may say, "flights are tentative" or "may change without notice". But God is the real deal. He is always up-to-date, current and relevent. One thing more, God is always on time. God's schedules do not change and by His predetermined plan, Christ will return at the exact right moment. Are you ready?

I went into a restaurant the other day and ordered an item from the menu. The waitress informed me that they no longer have that item. Isn't it wonderful to know that God's Word is never obsolete? The Bible has been faithful through time to the needs of man through every generation.

Have you picked up this precious book today to hear what God has planned for you today? His menu is never "sold out, subject availability, changed or substituted". It is always spiritually relevent. As much as this may sound like an advertisement for the Bible, it is. Pick it up today, read it, live it, learn from it. You will be so glad you did.

14 November, 2007 - You Can't Go Back

Your mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the great mountains; Your judgments are a great deep; O LORD, You preserve man and beast. Psalm 36:5-6, NKJV

You can't go back; you can't go back to an old home town haunt; you can't go back in time; you can't go back to innocence, you can't bring back a life. Left in the wake, I felt like one of those shards of old shell-unrecognizable, uncomfortable, ugly and old. What I wanted was to be whole. I wanted my children not to be broken. I wanted my sister to still be alive after a suicide many years ago, I wanted my son to still be alive after a suicide years ago,

I wanted my health back so I can work for a living, I wanted us not to feel like these shells. I look at the way things are financially right now and want to be able to pay my bills. I want my family to be restored. I wanted the pain to go away, and I wanted to not be considering the possibility of more surgery.

It is as if a I feel a cold wind bound to come; Another change, another end I cannot see, It sometimes feels like your faith is going up in smoke. But the Lord has been faithful. to me. He is making it all right. His Word assures us of that promise. I fall down on my knees in prayer; Please dear Lord, tell me that it's all right. I pray that you give me what I need. I feel like I have been knocking on heaven's door and not getting any answer. Have you forgotten about me?

But I remember that there is one thing I have learned in the past months. I have been taught this, if nothing more, that it is all right, whatever may come you promise in your Word that you are with me through it all. It may never be the same, but it will be all right.

11 November, 2007 - OVERFLOWING LIFE - Shadows and Staff

The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of life; Of whom shall I be afraid?" Ps. 27:1

Is your church on FIRE for the Lord? Does it stand for truth and against sin? Does your church worship and praise the Lord only on Sundays, and maybe a Wednesday night prayer meeting? As in our human hunger, our spiritual hunger is absolutely no different. We need to eat and drink some form of nourishment daily, or we will die. The Word says we need the 'Daily Bread' from the word - or we will die of sin.

Do the people in your church reach out to each other on a regular basis? I am not just talking about a weekly men's bible study, or a women's retreat every now and then. I am speaking of a full time ministry to feed us with our daily bread? If you were hungry for the Lord and need support or encouragement, as a believer, who can you call?

Yes, the answers are in the Word. We need to spend time with the Lord daily, constantly. We need to be on fire and pray that the Holy Spirit dwell in us every minute of our life here on earth. We have a responsibility to stoke our own coal for our fire. We need to be responsible for ourselves, to a degree.

But what about those times, days, weeks, that your plate is so full of stress and tribulation, that you are not sure if you are going to make it. We are promised in the Word that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But those times where we can't see it - what do we do? Those times where you can not swim - because you are too busy drowning.

Where is your safety net? It is not practical for a church to have a 24 hour crisis line. Your pastor has others to attend to also. Your friends might have a family event they are tied up with. There is no one to call! No one to hear your cry of "I AM HERE!"

That is where your wrong. There is where we fail in our own responsibility to take stewardship over the life that God has given us. Being a Christian requires your participation too. It is so hard at times to even pick yourself up from the depths of despair, to be reminded of the truth that Jesus Christ is your light! He has already paid the price so that you can live in the light. But Satan has put the blinders on you and hides your eyes from seeing Jesus.

So here is what you need to do. Find ways to remind you that Jesus Loves you. Buy little verse knick-knacks to spread around your house. Little scripture plaques with inspirational messages on it, out them everywhere. Print out your favorite scripture passages and hang them on your bathroom mirror. Don't make the "May the Lord bless this home" stop at your welcome mat.

I have Ps. 27:1 printed out and taped to my ceiling in my bedroom. It is the first thing I see when I open my eyes. "The Lord is my light and my salvation!" We use "ticklers" to remind us of appointments and special events. I don't know if people still tie a string around there finger to remind them of something they need to do. But we need reminders in our life everywhere we go, that Jesus loves us. He is our master, and our teacher. Through Him we can accomplish anything.

Place scripture passages on your screen saver. I have Isaiah 30:15 on mine. Fill your life with Christ! Listen to Christian music on the radio or the computer. Hey what a great idea? I have some cards from missionary friends that I pray for regularly, posted on the wall behind my computers screen. Those families were called to a life of of evangelism.

Tune into Christian Mix Inet while your researching what to do for your child's earache. Take the responsibility of feeding yourself also. The food is there. Your daily manna from heaven is everywhere. Make your homepage, the homepage for Christ. Set your standard for the day in a Christian believer tone. Wake up with Jesus, eat from the bread of life all day long. Feed yourself, so you can always have an abundance to share with others.

Being a Christian requires a response. Learn how to feed yourself. Yes, it is a responsibility for others to support, encourage you and support you. But if you look at Christianity and your life with Christ as a "team" effort, you all rely on each other to do their part, so you can do yours.

I would love to hear about ways that you pick yourself up when you fall. Is it that scripture on your keychain? How about that penny that is in your pocket with a cross punched in the middle of it. What reminders do you have so that you can feed yourself? Do you even know where your bible is right now?

10 November, 2007 - TOTAL SERVICE (aka I Was Thinking About You)

Chronicles 31:21 - And in every work that he began in the service of the house of God, in the law and in the commandment, to seek his God, he did it with all his heart. So he prospered.

Isn't it a joy to watch a new believer put their faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ? The follow-up and enthusiasm and discipleship with new believers is exciting to watch. It is exciting to watch them exhibit their zeal for Christ and the Word of God. Their gifts, their life, their involvement in church activities are blessed with their talents.

They love everything they do, they attend church services, events, festivals, and volunteer to help with fund raising, Christmas collection of toys for the poor. They are on fire for the Lord.

But how many of these people all of a sudden appear to run out of steam, and pucker up like someone let the air out of their balloon. They are burdened with a myriad of surgeries, life changing emotional events or family loses. They were there for everyone else, but who is there for them? While they are busy giving, has anyone been feeding them? Who has been sharing with them? Who has been refueling their tanks?

Does your church tackle a visitation program? Do you encourage mentorship? Every individual in every church should have a prayer partner. Does your church even have a prayer chain? Do you actually follow up with your visitor cards? Or do you just add them to your mailing list? I have attended churches where I fill out the little visitor card and pass it along in the offering plate. I have NEVER been called, followed up on, or heard a word from anyone. I did get on their mailing list though. I guess that is sufficient.

Too many times, life changing events occur in a persons life that goes completely unnoticed. If I were to have a heart attack or a stroke, or fall and can't get up, how long would it be before someone would miss me? I will allow for some individuals that do not attend a church, or some people just refuse to let anyone get personal with them. I also understand that "stuff" happens which no one could ever know about. A church can not hardly help a victim of a fire, if they don't know that it happened. Even if someone knew that there was a major fire in your part of town, do they know YOU lived there?

What I am saying is this; this is not like the old days where we had part lines and everyone in the community knew everything about everyone. Anymore, there are people you don't want to know. But Jesus says to love them anyway. Take some initiative in life. Knock on the door of that neighbor, introduce yourself, offer to be there if they every need any help. If they are unappreciative of your introduction, don't knock again. But you have done the right thing.

I remember the first day of moving into a house in a little town in Iowa. I was hired to manage a radio station. I had hardly backed the U-Haul up to the front door, and there were two neighbors asking if they could help. It wasn't a matter of one day, and I was greeted at the door by a lady down the street with a cherry pie. Things in this world are going to "heck in a hand basket". Stop being a part of the problem. Be a part of the change in your little corner of your world.

There are 6 apartments in my building. I have made it a point to know everyone. Not socially, but they know that I will watch out for them. They know they can count on me if they need a jump for their car. I have been asked (trusted) to watch a families precious 4 year old little boy, so daddy could go into work a little early and make some extra Christmas cash. I know I can ask them for a ride to the store if my car broke down, and just a week ago, I was asked to come up and share a pizza and watch their new tv.

Establish a prayer chain in your church. All a person in need of prayer or support has to do is call one person and request prayer. That person calls two people, those two call ... you know the cascade effect. In a matter of moments, everyone knows that someone is in need. Even if it is for a simple prayer for a test they are taking at school tomorrow.

Encourage each other to reach out. Don't wait for a prayer request to come to you. This very same prayer chain can call each other regularly and ask if everything on the other end of the line is ok, or needs encouragement or support. We tend to get distracted with important events and sometimes don't think about asking for help. And Lord forbid, some of us may be to shy or embarrassed to ask for help. A loving phone call to someone you have not heard from or seen at church recently can be so helpful and supportive.

God's love is infectious. But it is not self renewing. These believers need their daily bread from God. But they seem to be so busy giving, they forget to "get". They become distracted by life's trials, and some of them are not visited by anyone in the church. No one stops by to fix them a meal, or refresh their spirit with a personal visit.

Do not allow a birthday to go unnoticed, or allow anyone to spend a thanksgiving alone. Invite someone over to watch that new video you picked up at Blockbuster. Or better yet, pick one up and go to their house. Grab some microwave popcorn and make family event out of it.

How many times have you said or heard someone say "I was thinking about you the other day"? (Really? I had no idea you were thinking about me. Sure would have been nice if you would have followed up on that thought. Because you know what? I was sitting at home alone all by myself doing absolutely nothing. I sure could have used someone calling me and telling me they were thinking of me.)

Does your church assert the feeding of your flock? We are so good to "pray". We have our Bible studies, but do you call up or stop by the day before, inviting people to attend? When was the last time a member of your congregation called up another believer - just because they were thinking about them?

Don't let the air leak out of your fellowship balloon. You need to call up brothers and sisters in Christ, even if you are sure they will be attending an event anyway. You can never over-encourage each other. Offer to stop by and pick them up, or invite them to stop by and pick you up.

Encourage friendship and fellowship. It is not enough to meet and greet each other before you pass the offering plate. These people are your brothers and sisters in the eternity of the Lord. Get to know them today! Approach your fellow believers as if it were the first day of your salvation. Remember? The zeal, the full hearted faith that they showed when they first turned their lives over to Christ?

I am going to offer you a confession here. I pray the Lord that I am forgiven for it. But I turned 54 today. It is my birthday. I received 7 automated "Happy Birthday" notes from various message boards that I have signed up with. I didn't even get one from the Christian Mix Inet message board. The only live birthday greeting I got today was from my mother. (I love you mom). I did get one e-card a few days ago from my wife. However, I have been separated for several months now. I can only hope that it was a sincere greeting and not one she setup months ago - and merely forgot to remove.

I will admit, that my church probably did not know that it was my birthday. People can't know - if you don't tell them. So accept some responsibility in your life and be a part of it - life. Otherwise, you have absolutely no excuse to complain about not getting a birthday card in the mail. Do something!!

Don't allow yourselves to become bottom feeders in your service to the Lord. Serve with all your heart, encourage each other every minute. Help maintain that infectious spirit that came when you were saved. Quit making the excuse that, "I didn't know it was your birthday. You never told me." Be proactive in your faith with fellow believers. Make it your business to know it is their birthday.

Are you serving the Lord with all your heart?

05 November, 2007 - Thank You!

To all you folks, gifted with the talent of music; whether it be vocal, lyrics, instrumental, etc., thank you so much for your following God's will in your efforts. You can not go wrong when you listen to Him. Even though you gotta have a voice that is listenable, production quality that is acceptable, I think the lyrics and the message are paramount to your efforts.

By all accounts, Paul (Bible) was a scraggly little guy. His voice did not command anyone to listen to him. But when he preached the message of truth - people listened. As a contrast, Moses was a very intimidating man. His presence commanded your attention, but he was really kind of a wimp with his attitude. He really wondered why God chose him to deliver the chosen. Again, the message is what came through.

The only reason I am writing this is: I just listened to Dave Pettigrew's "I Will Follow". The lyrics that said,

I'm not looking for an answer
I'm not looking for a sign
I know that I can't see You but like a child's open mind
I believe, I believe, I believe with a faith that's blind

They really got me. So once again, I tell you all NEVER FORGET THE MESSAGE!!!!

Thanks Dave!

31 October, 2007 - Reckless

"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:10

God Great God, thank you for this, yet another day to praise your Holy name, and worship you. Thank you for your overwhelming love for us, and your outstretched arms, waiting for us. Welcoming us back into your fold of never ending riches and blessings. We pray that we live our day with the attitude of a cup that is running over with the redemption of Jesus Christ. Let us share that Living Water with everyone we see and come into contact with. Help us display our faith, and assurance of salvation, in the way we speak, act and think. We pray that Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross permeates every bone, every cell in our being. Help us live like there might not be a tomorrow.
Amen!

I am reading a book a called Dangerous Wonders. It put a whole new perspective on the Christian faith for me. I realized that I spent so much time worrying about what not to do that I forgot to be aggressive in my faith. There was a chapter in this book called "Reckless Abandon" that inspired a song on Pillar's new album called "Reckless Youth." I looked up the definition for reckless and through the many different versions out there, I found one that stuck out to me: "to act with disregard to consequence." How perfect is that?!? Think for one second about the last time we truly lived recklessly.

Not worried about what others think about us. Not worried about the might happen to us if we make our stand. Not worried about consequences. I can honestly say that during worship at church I find myself fighting of thoughts of "What are the people behind me going to think if I raise my hands, sing to loud, get on my knees or cry?" To be reckless is to deny Satan a path into our minds and do it because we don't care of the consequences. Because we want to recklessly follow Christ.

My responses to people when I meet a stranger on the street is different. When I am asked, "How are you?", I don't care what they thing when I respond, "Only through the Grace of God, I am doing well!". I have been drawn to pray with people on the spot. I have been led to call people up for no reason at all - just to lift them up to the Lord. In some cases I know their struggles, others I have no idea what they are dealing with. The Lord has laid on my heart that they need His encouragement. I have stood in the middle of a Christian book store praying with the owner.

What has happened to me? As I wrote in a previous blog, about the young teen girl that was taken from life at the sweet age of 17. Her friends asked her all the time, "What is with you?" I want to respond as she did, "Jesus!!! Want some?" Walk in the Spirit of what you have found. Don't keep it to yourself.

I am not of the 'charismatic' personality, but sometimes when I sing a praise and worship song, or hear a song pleading for more of God's Holy Grace - I want to put my hands up in the air. Maybe I hope to get closer to Him that way. I can not sing a note. I sound like a beluga whale during mating season, with this untrained bass voice. But I love singing praises to the Lord. I sing anyway. There is an older man that sits somewhere in my church, I am not sure who is is or where he sits, but he can't sing either. But you can sure hear him lifting the Lord up in song.

When you think, and feel the love of Jesus Christ in your inner most soul, and you feel like you could melt to your kneed in His love, and it is more than you can stand.... sing out loud, drink from His cup, lay your head on His chest, feel His warm and overwhelming arms around you. Know that you have the power to share that. Even if it is the strength to raise your hands high in the air, and show your praise to our Holy God.

Maybe I desire outstretched hands, just like He has for us. Either way, follow your faith with this sort of reckless abandon. Act like your cup is running over. Make other's ask you, "What's with you?"

22 October, 2007 - Your Calling!

Right about the time you get a little comfortable with your walk with the Lord, He has a tendency to get your attention. Sometimes, when we listen, it is a gentle and quiet, reminder of just who is in charge. If you are not listening, through your complacency or comfortableness with your life, God will use a brick, a 2 by 4, whatever it takes. I just wish I had a father like that while I was growing up.

Through the last few months, I have had medical issues, subsequent financial issues, and losses too numerous to mention. God has pulled me though them all. Through His word, my daily Bible reading with my mother, my wonderful church family, and my friendship with my pastor, God has given me the inspiration and strength to get through. You also must ask the big question of 'just why God has let me get so close to the edge, just to pull me back or save me from a fall. I may never know that answer.

But I will share with you a few of the lessons learned through all of this:

1. I am not an island. Even though, I am perfectly capable of being self-sustaining. I enjoy people and friends, but to the most part, I am perfectly happy being by myself too. The humbling lesson has been, I need friends. I need people around me. Three months of being mostly homebound, while recovering from a myriad of health issues, I have also gone stark raving crazy - being alone.

I have talked to myself, and not really enjoyed some of the conversation. I even got so bored one night at 10:30pm, I went to Wal-Mart just to find someone to talk to! I go to the park for my walks two or three times a day, just hoping that there was someone to talk to. I need friends, I need people, I am not an island.

2. If all the medical issues were not enough, last week, the most important thing I have - this Christian Mix Inet ministry was taken away from me. Because of the financial strains, I had hoped for just a few more days, before the cable was disconnected. After battling with my insurance company for my short-term disability benefit, I was hoping to get my expenses taken care of this payday.

I lost the gamble. Christian Mix Inet went offline late last week. Even though I have an abundance of faith, for God's provision, I also made an appeal to you - the listener - for your help. I would have been able to get back up this Friday. But once again, God made it abundantly clear, that it was not about me.

I have had this boastful, prideful attitude that said, "Look at what I have done. My experience in radio, my expertise in programming, my efforts ...." See how righteous I am? NOT!!!

The success and credibility of Christian Mix Inet has had absolutely nothing to do with me. I would not have the experience, or the know-how, if it were not God's gift of knowledge. It is God's guidance and wisdom that has helped me make some of the choices I have made. Through prayer and a wonderful Perfect God and His Perfect Word, has permitted this music ministry to reach over 45,000 listeners all over the world in the last year.

God has blessed this project. I have simply been a steward of those gifts. It is, was, and always will be about God.

I woke up this Monday morning to some wonderful e-mail. I found financial support that absolutely floored me. It was affirmation that it is nothing to do with me. I did not have to wait for my payday. I could no longer boast that it was 'my' effort. I was not permitted to use my money to get back on the air.

We received enough financial support to get back online today - not wait till Friday! Praise The Lord!! Thank you for your support and faith in this ministry. Thank you for prayerfully supporting Christian Mix Inet. Let's all continue this ministry and mission together. Christian Mix Inet needs your financial support and your prayers to continue doing what we are doing. Thank you Lord for your provision. Please continue to pray for the provision to continue sharing the Gospel through music.

God is so good. It is nothing to do with me. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with God.

Sean Smith, and independent artist we play here at Christian Mix Inet, writes the following: (paraphrased)

WE ARE NOT CALLED BECAUSE WE CAN -
WE ARE CALLED BECAUSE HE CAN!!!!

16 October, 2007 - A Little Fun

Of many things in life that I think are funny, is humor itself. Some of the 'intellectual' humor, I find more ha-ha funny, than some of the slap-stick stuff that others like. Then there is stuff that really isn't 'funny' at all, but more on the 'interesting' side of life, that stuff I find really, really funny.

I went to the store tonight to grab a couple of things for breakfast. I thought I might muster up enough energy tomorrow to make an omelette. I had some green pepper, mushrooms, and some sausage; so all I really needed was some eggs and cheese. So, off I go to get a couple a things for breakfast tomorrow.

Well, as I am rounding the corner of the store that is right by the entrance, I pass the bakery. All the doughnuts, pastries and cakes looked really good. (Food is my friend). But after some of the health realities that God has blessed (?) me with recently, I was able to pass them all by.

Until I passed the chilled treats and saw .... cheesecake. Oh, dear Lord, thank you for cheesecake. There was strawberry swirled, New York, Chocolate, ......... on and on. Did I say I love cheesecake? I couldn't resist. I let the enemy take over and I grabbed a slice of the chocolate swirl. It was just a small piece of cheesecake. I am proud of the fact that I passed up the packages with two slices in it. I have no regrets for not grabbing a whole cheesecake.

My rationale was, I would really enjoy it as a dessert tomorrow. Or maybe I would enjoy it as a desert after .... well when I got home. I even toyed with the idea of having it as a dessert after the omelette tomorrow. I didn't care, cheesecake is good anytime. Before, after or during a meal. It is even a good thing all by itself. I did not struggle at all buying the treat, I struggled over when I was going to have it.

Not to be outdone by my lust for this calorie filled creamy indulgence, I complicated the whole thing trying to figure out when I was going to eat it. I even considered putting back. I soon got over that impulse. I would figure out the solution to this catastrophic choice when I got home. I even found it necessary to tell the cashier that I only came in for something for breakfast, and explained the crisis of when to eat it. She smiled graciously, handed me my change and said, "Have a good evening". She was no help at all.

All this babble to say, I figured out an easy solution to the entire problem. I did not even have to create an international incident over when to eat this piece of cheesecake. I got into my car, opened that blasted thing up and ate it before I even started the car. I solved the problem right then and there. Who would have figured it would be so easy.

Why do we complicate life the way we do? Sometimes the solution is staring us right in the face. Or in this case - right in the mouth.

Now I think this whole ordeal was funny. I hope it made you smile. But this is my blog, and I will hopefully get serious next time.....or maybe not.

12 October, 2007 - Things That Make You Go - Hmmmm!

I love it when the Lord gives me an "A HA" moment. You know what I am talking about? One of those sudden realizations that something you have heard before, but did not quite understand, now makes sense. It could be something that you thought you understood or something you have heard all your life but all at once if feels like the "light bulb" pops up above your head like you're the star of a comic book strip, and you finally 'get it'. I could compare it to a "brain freeze" when you eat ice cream. Sometimes our A HA moments can be just as painful.

While I recover from the myriad of medical ailments that I have been burdened with over the last few months, family member losses, a separation from my wife, (which is now into it's seventh month), I am having many of these 'moments'. There is a lot of time to read, listen to the music, and ... think. That is the hard one. I think I think way too much.

It can be a good thing, when your train is on the right track, headed toward God, But many times, I am not on the right track. I have chosen to take a spur to some other adventure. It is in these "adventures" that we learn about "stuff". You don't learn anything by putting your car on cruise control, and zipping down the highway of life.

You may get to your destination in record time, but you have slept through it all. You have gained nothing, had no personal experiences, and have absolutely nothing to offer when you get where you going. You MUST take side roads, off ramps, rest-stops. You must go through the flat tires, fender benders and traffic tickets of life.

You may be wondering where this rambling is going. To be honest, I am not real sure. I am letting the Lord do the typing. What prompted all this is a couple of songs that I hear this morning. I have specifically heard and like this one song by Bill Petty, "You Can Always Come", but for some reason, this morning it hit me.

Not only had I never thought about how much we must hurt God when we wander away from Him. We try to find love, happiness, and satisfaction in the "real world". But we fail to understand that with an Alive and Living God, we are in the "real - real world" when we are in His arms. There is no better place to be.

God, as an infinitely wise Father, knows we must fail all by ourselves. We must struggle and meet challenges all by ourselves. That is not to say that He does not stand with us while we struggle, but He knows we must make these mistakes and bad choices in order for us to learn. Fortunately, many of us learn fairly easy. It does not take a bad choice and a life term in prison - for us to accept the Truth of God's love for us.

Then for some of us, it takes a 2x4 up side the head to get our attention. I pray that you don't let it get to that point for your A HA moment. Don't let the fires of hell be what get's your attention. It is too late then.

Let the message of Jesus Christ's sacrifice on the Cross, be your light bulb Don't be like Paul, and wait for the bright light of Jesus on the road to Damascus. I wish God would give me those moments once a week but I have since learned they're dependent upon how closely I am listening for His voice among the noise. Have you heard from Him lately?

(1 Kings 19:12) And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

11 October, 2007 - Peace Like A River

Heard on the news the other day that the skeletal remains of a body found in a shallow grave were that of a local teen that has been missing for quite some time. During the ordeal and the ensuing search for this families child, they always held out hope for their daughter's safe return. It was not meant to be.

The local news coverage was so insensitive with their interview of the parents. They tried to make the grieving couple say something "newsworthy". The reporters prodded and tried to lead the husband and wife with open ended questions, trying to make a story filled with juicy sound bites.

After a few basic responses from the couple about the "resolve" they feel with the identification of the body, and that they can rest with some degree of closure; however painful that might be. It was evident that this was a very difficult time for this family. They were in no order to answer questions from a bunch of insensitive reporters, looking for a story. The couple abruptly excused themselves from public view, as the wife needed support from her husband and another family member to turn and walk away.

It was at that point the husband seemed to be overpowered with a strength and inspirational spirit, as he wiped his eyes, he turned to hug his wife. Just as suddenly as as they turned away from the cameras, he turned back. It was as if a new man had come to the microphone and speak.

The Father stood tall and straight, and said, "We have peace now. This is the end of a 2 1/2 year journey that I would not wish upon any parent. But through the strength of God, we have been able to survive and endure. You can write any verb you want, regarding this emotional roller coaster we have gone through in the last years. But the Grace, Love and Hope of our Almighty God, through His Son, Jesus Christ, gives us the promise that we will see our daughter again soon. Yes, we will miss her terribly. We will mourn her loss, and miss her bright and cheerful presence in our life.

But we know she is in a better place. We prayed unceasingly, that God would bring her home. He did just that, He brought her to His home. I am jealous of her because she is no longer in pain, she no longer is suffering, and I know my daughter... she is dancing with Jesus. She is dancing as hard as she can, because she never did anything in her life, halfway. She gave everything her all. She inspired us with her vigor and vitality and positive attitude. She motivated us in our daily lives. She loved her Jesus, and was never ashamed to tell anyone who would listen.

She was a true blessing to this family and everyone she met. Her friends often asked her, 'What is wrong with you?'. Her response was, "Jesus! Want some too?" We are so thankful for the short 17 years that God allowed us to be blessed by her presence. Just as my daughter now enjoys it, this family will embrace it. We have PEACE! Thank you for your prayers and your support in this terrible situation. But we have Peace!!"

What a family, what a faith, what a GOD! We may never understand why this family had to endure the loss of a child. A bright, beautiful. honor student, that had everything ahead of her. Why did this happen? I don't know. But I do know that God loves us. His embracing of this family through this terrible devastation is proof that we need to rest in His PEACE. He does not make the pain go away. This family will be tortured by the why's and wherefore's for the rest of their lives. But God will carry them through it.

Their faith in seeing their daughter again is enough to keep them looking forward to that special day. They will look forward to each day as - one day closer to seeing their daughter in the presence of Jesus.

Please pray for all families that have lost children. I, myself, have lost a son to suicide, many years ago. Just pray for PEACE!!

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God". Psalm 42:1

04 October, 2007 - Your Walk
There's an analogy that has followed me since I was very young. And for years I've taken it for granted - mainly because I've heard it over and over again. But as I'm getting older, I'm starting to recognize that there's a reason why certain sayings and ideas stick around - because they're obviously and undeniably true. The analogy that I'm talking about is the comparison of our spiritual walk and a roller coaster. Now I know that this is such a simple idea, but it really is a beautiful illustration of how God loves us. My walk with God has been violently up and down. Because of my choices and the actions of others, I have risen to bask in the glory of Him, and hidden in the proverbial valley of shame. But what makes our God great is that He'll not only meet us where we are, but also raise us from our brokenness to hold us in His arms. We need both the highs and lows to fully appreciate our Father.

03 October, 2007 - Are you blessed?
Blessed. Are we blessed? We considered ourselves blessed because of the happiness we have, the life we live, the things we own. Take an imaginary trip with me, if you will. Let's travel to an orphanage in Africa. Take with you your perception of being "blessed", thinking that you are going to share some of your blessings What you will soon realize is; your clothes, your car, and your house doesn't carry much weight there.

These things are gifts from God, but we must remember He blesses us in so many different ways. We cannot let our material blessings keep us from being desperate for Jesus. Knowing Jesus is the ultimate blessing. Nothing else truly matters. The people you met at this orphanage didn't have the material blessings we have, but they could have so much joy. What good would your car be them? Nice clothes would soon turn worn and soiled, because they have no hope of regular hygiene. Get my point?

Yes, food would be a temporary fix for their hunger. Money would buy them a little education, a chance at some future. These are good things. These things tough, are only temporary and temporal. But when it gets right down to it - they are still in an orphanage in Africa. How much "hope" is there in that?

I am going through a similar learning process at this time in my life. I have been plagued with some relationship, medical and financial stresses in the last few months.

Though it all, I have learned that the financial and medical needs do require solutions, but these solutions are always temporary and temporal. The recovery from a heart attack, just opened the door for a total knee replacement. From there, it was a blood clot in the lungs. Who knows what is next for this old body of flesh?

The house payment is paid, but there will be another one next month. If you escape a utility shut-off, there will be another bill next month. If you feed yourself for the moment, you will just be hungry again.

Blessings? Maybe, but the real blessing is knowing that I have hope for eternal life with God, in a place that is so much better. Through the blood of Christ, we have the honor of placing our temporary needs before a loving and providing God.

He takes care of these needs. He also offers a peace and rest; in the knowledge that he loves us more than we can imagine.

Some might argue that love does not put a meal on the table. I contend that through love, and his blood, Christ has already fed the world. We must keep our eyes on the cross in order to be blessed, and understand being blessed.

Blessed are the poor, the meek, the hungry, the thirsty, the merciful, the pure of heart, the peacemakers, and the persecuted. Let's want those blessings.

30 September, 2007 - Christianity and Peer Pressure

On the Christian Mix Inet "Praise and Prayer Request" tag-board, there is a request for prayer from a pastor in the UK, for establishing and developing a youth ministry. I shared his request with our youth pastor at my church, and requested prayer and possibly the chance of email contact and sharing ideas.

Anyway, an interesting topic grew out of the visit with my youth pastor. Please understand that the following is, in no way, intended to be anything more than a topic to think about. When it comes to your church, or your youth ministry, what do you do?

The topic of "peer pressure" came into the discussion. Apparently, being a youth coordinator or pastor in a church, is a special calling. There are some delicate balances that must be considered when evangelizing to the youth. You, apparently, need to be sensitive to their environment of "peer pressure" in order to establish a "credible" youth program at a church.

My question is this; just who is the author of your definition of credibility? If the secular world is writing your definition and syllabus, then is this an adequate seed for a Christ focused youth program? If you consider the delicate balance of a young persons "environment" - then just how effective is your program?

Do you attempt to "trick" a kid into a church program, and build on that to establish a Christian perspective? How honest and truthful is that? What degree of credibility do you have?

I would thik you would establish programs and venues that appeal to kids, making it perfectly clear that you are a Christian church program. Make them aware of the fact that this is an "outreach" to spread the Gospel and the Good News of Christ. If that can spark an interest by a teen to check you out, at least you are being honest.

I see too many "outreach" programs that are "safe" and "cleansed" of any Christian authority. Movie nights, that have a basic "good guy" and "faith based" morality, isn't what is going to get people to your church to learn about Christ. It is merely a movie night at the corner church. Free food, free soda, and a movie where the good guy wins.

What do you think? I sure would like to know what you think. You can respond and reply to this blog entry on our "Community" message forum. You can also see what others have to say.

26 September, 2007 - Study In Grammar

The dictionary defines the word "boast" this way: "t speak with exaggeration and excessive pride, esp. about oneself." The definition of "pride" is: " high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc."

God's word says: Prov. 11-2: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Then in 1Ki 20:11, "The king of Israel answered, "Tell him: 'One who puts on his armor should not boast like one who takes it off.'"

Now that we have the premise set down, here is the story to go with it.

Yesterday, I was "supervising" a neighbor who was replacing a power steering pump in his van. It had rained earlier in the morning, and it was a little wet, muddy and slippery. I did not even think of the hazard until I was reminded of it when I shifted positions on my "new knee".
The neighbor was just complaining about how "Arthur-itis" had moved in with him in recent years. I boasted that I was not plagued with that problem anymore, since I had this right knee replaced. I chided him about his "old bones" and bragged about my "new knee".

I slipped a little, did not fall, but banged my upper leg on the fender. Fortunately it was the left thigh that I banged, rather than the right one, where the knee replacement was done. I was quickly reminded about "boasting" and "pride". I should have simply sympathized with his pains and aches, acknowledging the fact I knew exactly how he must be feeling. Instead, I had made an attempt to make myself better than he.

I think the key to remember is the terms in the definitions above, "..exaggeration and excessive pride". We are told about boasting in the Lord"; My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice." in Ps. 34:2. There is nothing wrong with giving praise for a blessing. It is not wrong to feel good about winning a game or getting a raise at work. But when you use that blessing to set yourself apart from someone else, then it becomes sinful.

There is nothing that happens in our life that is not pre-ordained by God. So in everything give praise. Even in our words, we need to protect our boastful and prideful nature. I could have said, "I sure know how you must be feeling, I ams so grateful to have had this knee replacement, I no longer feel the weather changes in my knees". That was a praise!

But if you were to say the exact same words, with an exaggerated attitude of yourself, implying that "I don't have to worry the pain anymore, you do", then we have sinned. We need to guard our hearts in everything our brain causes us to speak. There needs to be the God given grace of discernment in our words and actions.

Pray with me that God give us the wisdom and discernment to practice compassion in everything we do. Pray that every single time we open our mouth to speak, we use it to encourage peace, AMEN!

23 September, 2007 - Consider the Source

This had to be one of the best messages I have ever heard from the pastor of my church, Clay Bowlin (Northwest Bible Church, KC. MO.). It was truly convicting. He spent the entire message on Romans 1:1. Itself is quite a humbling introduction by Paul to the Romans.

But it speaks of us being set-apart for the Gospel of God. We are made different, for the sole purpose of praising and worshipping our Lord God. Because we are all different and unique, we all have different skills and gifts. It is through these individual skills that we are commanded to be a "bond-servant" (a slave by choice) to Christ Jesus and Our Holy Father.

When we surrender to that mission completely, we will be rewarded in ways that we can not imagine. As we grow to that point of total submission, we are taken care of, taught, disciplined, and above all LOVED! We are loved in a way that is unfathomable to us. We are just tasked to accept it.

It must be explained that this is where most Christian's stumble and fail in our efforts to "be like Christ". It is so hard for us to understand and accept the concept of; If God wanted us to be like Christ, then why did he make us like -- US?

This message struck the nail right on my head. We are so totally unworthy of this Love. But it is there. It is for us. It has been paid for with the redemption of our sins, by our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ. Sounds rather simple doesn't it? This is such a contrast in logic - that it is confusing for us.

But if we come before Christ with the innocence of children, it will be easier for us to just accept the "Premise of the Promise", with no questions asked. It is when we contemplate on it, or try to "make sense" of it -- it defies all logic.

Thank you Jesus!! I pray that you help me and encourage my acceptance of the fact that: Through your death on the Cross - "It is finished!" The receipt for our eternity with you was stamped "PAID IN FULL!"

15 September, 2007 - What a Week!!

Ended up in the hospital Thursday and Friday after a minor medical setback. While at a physical therapy session, I suffered from a Pulmonary Embolism (Blood clot in the lungs). I remember the slow progression of the attack, and the poor PT girl telling me to "stay with her" and "don't do this to me". * smile *

I remember trying so hard to fight the effects of not being able to breathe and losing consciousness (which I never really did). During all this time I prayed. I prayed for God to not let me die in a swimming pool. (That is one of the greatest fears I have - is drowning).

Anyway, the Lord allowed me, once again, to be spared from death's sting. Even though it apparently was a very small clot, and there was no negligible damage, the anxiety of the whole thing really complicated the issue and made it worse.

What I am trying to get to in this writing is this: God is sovereign. He is in charge of everything. That is not to say that we must not be stewards of this life that He gave us, and fight, grow, mature, learn and develop in His Truth.

At first, I felt anguish and despair because I could have come so close to "biting the big one". It is natural to go through stages when something traumatic happens. It is not always easy to find positives, when in reality, you might not be here on this morning to write this blog. It is very hard to swim, when you are busy drowning!

But short of the missed rejoice over coming that close to seeing Jesus, it really was a blessing. I could have been alone at my home - alone. Who knows how long it might have been before I was found. I could have been driving when this occured. I could have killed someone.

My point is this: We must learn to rejoice in all things.

Once again, His Word was right on target this morning.

Lamentations 3:19-24

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him. TNIV

Originally, I was reminded of my worthlessness. That is depressing. But we must take a a positive spin on it, God's Word is not a bad thing. They call it "Good News". There is a reason for that. I don't think that it should have reminded me of "my" wrongs, my trials or tribulations. God does not desire to hammer into us all our past failures. We have a hard enough time dealing through our past. We don't need to be reminded of it.

That is what Christ died on the Cross for. So we can be forgiven of all the bad that we have done in our lives. But we do need to be reminded of the fact that we are nothing before God. We are sinner's. We have nothing worthy of presentation before the Lord Almighty.
But through the Blood of The Lamb, Jesus, we are saved. And because he bore the debt of our sins, we can rejoice in our being made sinless before The Father. Jesus is vouching for us when we make pray and application to God.

What better a reference. Sure wish I could use Jesus as a character reference when applying for a job. Actually we can. If we walk with Him, try to be like Him. It will be quite apparent in our presentation to others who is our teacher.

This verse actually was a reminder of the fact that - if all we have is God, at the end, it is sufficient. I actually was inspired by it, after the depression of earlier. It was not hard to throw off the shackles of "woe is me!" and the plague of dwelling on close I came to death Thursday.

I think we need to be reminded of how totally unworthy we are before God. But through our Christ Jesus, we are made "profitable" in the eyes of God. We do not have to do anything more. Because of that salvation, we are made new. I take much inspiration from that.

It just saddens me when someone else is struggling with, in my perception, a need for repentance and reconciliation in their life. Especially when that someone as dear to you as a spouse.

I am sure you feel anguish when you think of a loved one who is lost. That is the kind of despair I feel this morning. But we can only pray for them. It is not within us to make those changes. It is only within God. I know He can do it. But He must be allowed to work His Truth in others, in His own Sovereign way.

After all, He is God and We are NOT!!!